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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27436126">Um... So... read any good safety manuals recently?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/explodingviolently/pseuds/explodingviolently'>explodingviolently</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Enemies to Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M, lovers to irritating counterparts who are somehow equally as annoying, one single vague nsfw joke by benry. canon typical, somewhat rewrite of my old orphaned fic, stuck together</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:34:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27436126</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/explodingviolently/pseuds/explodingviolently</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gordon and Benry end up separated from the rest of the science team. Shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benrey/Gordon Freeman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Smells like.... mmmm.... Radiation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi guys! I'm posting a new HLVRAI fic! Yup! While you're here, come check out the other two fics I wrote (and sadly orphaned)<br/>- (https://archiveofourown.org/works/24450160)<br/>- (https://archiveofourown.org/works/25637713/chapters/62237614)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Benry...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Benry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Benry!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Benry!!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“uh-whuh-?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benry. Yes, the one we’re yelling about. (The royal ‘we’, of course. Meaning Gordon.) He’s being terrible. He’s forcing two non-sentient (possibly, the threat of radiation induced sentience is ever present) rocks to kiss. On the mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Benry, there’s-there’s a thing. We’re doing a thing you CAN’T-jesus christ-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“no, it’s-it’s about love n stuff.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Every day. Every day you say something and-and there’s just nothing…. Ohhh god…” Gordon rakes his (probably crusty, HEV suit encased) hands down his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“bro i don’t know what you’re talkin’-you sound CRAZY man. crazy. you sound so crazy. nothin’ in there. in your little head. sniffs like pop rocks up there though.” He smacks his lips. “mmmm.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Benry, you’re GOING to hurt me. You’re going to like-hurt my psyche. I’ll need a therapist after this-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“that wouldn’t be a problem-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“it w-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Benry don’t you-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“if you had that-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“BENRY-!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“if you just brought your passport, man.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon crossed over to Benry, clapping him on the shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?? Yeah? Is that what you think, </span>
  <em>
    <span>man??</span>
  </em>
  <span> Huh? B-Barn-fuck. Bernie…?” He seems to lose his train of thought and his confidence in the statement all at once. Benry is sliding through the wall. Gordon is in pain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i think this is all your fault. i think you’re applesauces in the brains. i think you smell like applesauces. bathe in it. gordon goes ‘oh, myeh myeh, appy juice time in my bath’. it’s you. that’s you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Benry.” He finally reaches the conclusion of that previous harrowing statement. “Benry, we wouldn’t BE here if you didn’t get us SEPARATED from the-THE EVERYONE!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you-you were distracted me. telling me about pissings.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pissi-PHYSICS? You m-you mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>physics??</span>
  </em>
  <span> You mean physics. Oh my god.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benry walks off, phasing right through Gordon’s outstretched arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“dunno what you’re talkin’ about man. shit… ‘n… dinosaur nuggets…” His scrambled brain puts together as he stalks off. Gordon jogs after him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So-so that’s it. Huh? You’re gonna be all pissy?? And-just. Ugh.” He cringes as Benry sidesteps a body, crab-like creature still latched to the cranium. Careful not to bring it up as to avoid Benry’s usual accusations of murder and manslaughter and every other beautiful wonderful thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh shit. chocate milk.” Benry had stopped at the lip of a huge vat, filled with what was ABSOLUTELY not chocolate milk. Mostly because it was green. And emitting a faint glow. And… squealing? Nesquick was like that sometimes though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that-it’s so not chocolate milk.” He turned to Benry wearily, stifling a wheeze when he saw the kissy faces he was making at him-</span>
  <em>
    <span>from across the vat.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“HOW DID YOU MAKE IT ACROSS ALREADY!?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“what? oh it’s like scrabble.” He then refused to elaborate as he walked calmly away, leaving Gordon blinking confusedly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh-no he doesn’t-” He scrambles across the platforms, desperately trying to make it across. “That little </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit-!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He finally pulls himself from a final ledge, still muttering to himself. “And of course he had to kill those pigeons of course becAUSE-!” He trips, falling about 5 feet right onto his face. Blinking, he makes eye contact with Benry’s boots. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh shit! it’s you!” He cackles maniacally.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m finding it-so. I-just so hard to like you. SO hard.” Gordon rubbed his temples, sitting upright. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yo, you’re hard?” Benry leaned over so deeply that he made eye contact with sitting Gordon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There is something wrong with you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“no my doctor said my head won't fall off anymore. i’m fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i promise.” Benry spun around, making his way forward past Gordon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh-really dude?” He sighed, making a pouty face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh, shit. yeah man.” He backtracked, grabbing Gordon’s hand in his own grubby paw, and began to drag him down the nondescript corridor. It was a horrible facsimile of a sweet gesture. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Oh, you!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“soooooo….” Benry smacked his lips. Loudly. Sounding almost like he was right in Gordon’s ear, without really being all that close. It was amazing how he did that. “you wanna show me your passport yet. m just saying. gotta make sure you ahh… got them cruh-den-shuls.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Benry.” Gordon began, sounding as exasperated as an overworked babysitter forced to watch over a hyperactive team of elderly scientists. “I agreed to give you a piggyback ride if you agreed to keep it down.” He was, indeed, giving Benry a piggyback ride. Another sigh. “Can you PLEASE. Just - please. Please.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“please what mr… uh…” He furrowed his brows. “you gotta use your big boy words. cmon. cmon.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m ignoring you. Maybe you - maybe you’ll go away if I pretend you’re not real.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“mmmm.” Benry nodded, almost intelligently, before leaning down to Gordon’s ear level and making THE loudest raspberry ever vocalized by mankind. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“BENRY-!” He shouted, fists clenched, frazzled, before wheezing out another breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“IS- there. Is there a REASON you do things?? Or - or is this just-ohhh I’m Benry I have to - duhhhh - be just - the MOST annoying…. Uh - the… guh - ” He paused, staring at his hands as if it would help him have a coherent thought. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Benry stood, (still on Gordon’s shoulders), phasing through his body before he stood next to him again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“i’m bored. this sucks. also, you have a cun - cun... cush…” He tapped his chin, mouth pinching up. “pincushion.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean a concussion?” He asked, wearily, before frowning. “I have a CONCUSSION?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“yeap. saw in that smelly little head of yours. got ripe up there.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh - oh jeez. Ohhh great.” He looked panicky.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“i think not great, haha.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“GREAT. Oh of course-so of course I have a - ohh great.” Gordon pinched the bridge of his nose, making a choked up sound. Wow. He was distraught.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“oh. huh. you’re like, for real upset huh.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sniff. Hiccup. Various distressed Gordon noises. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“hey - ohhh. dude.” Benry was looking quite uncomfortable, fidgeting a bit. “hey buddy i… uh. can fix that.” He cringed, watching </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“... Huh..?” He sniffled, looking over at Benry like a… really sad, ugly puppy. Like, all frowny and everything. Pretty sad. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“yeah i got it. stay there.” He pointed at Gordon’s sad, sad self, backing up a few steps. He inhaled deeply, before blowing a sharp, solid line of teal spheres right through his head. Gordon instinctively stepped back, swatting at them a little. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Whuh - what was - that?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“teal green - teal - uh. teal beam… uh. i forgot.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You… huh..?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“don’t worry about it.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But… you fixed it, right?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“yup. noggin’s better.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh…” He blinked, realizing that hey, the lights WEREN’T as aggressively bright and eye-searing as they were. Meaning… </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That - Benry, that was like, really nice.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“buh.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, really, I mean it!” He rubbed at his eyes, perking up. “That was like-” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Benry then belched loudly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“-Disgusting. That was disgusting.” The weary look in Gordon’s eyes returned, as he stared Benry down. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“no you.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for the short chapter ! I just wanted to cram some more character development in here</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thx for reading XP!!  Remember 2 leave comments if u enjoyed ;)c</p></blockquote></div></div>
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